uglyducklyng

A. Swan's quest for beauty, cute-ness, and happiness.

Sky Apple

It was a sleepy Saturday, and I had nothing to do, until my friend Leia suggested we meet up and go to a cafe. Because she is vegan our choices were limited, but she introduced me to this adorable cafe called Sky Apple, in Heaton, Newcastle-upon-Tyne. I couldn’t see much in the way of apples, but the walls were painted with clouds, and from the ceiling hung sparkly stars, delicate corsages, and a fancy chandelier.

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We were losing daylight, and the cafe was quite busy, so I didn’t get many good photographs. I would like to go back in the future. Maybe we shouldn’t have spent so long taking coord photos! I went for a casual sweet lolita outfit, with lots of knitwear because it’s quite chilly (though not for Newcastle!)

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Dress is from Bodyline (I’m not usually a fan, but I have this in both pink and blue!)
Cardigan is borrowed from my housemate
Teaparty shoes are from Angelic Pretty

My hat and sailor collar both have little angel wings, to contribute to the celestial theme of the day.

DSC_0895 - CopyOh, and I brought Reginald the Usakumya!

I hope I can find more cute and curious places in Newcastle, for when I run out of travel entries. Though, I am already planning a trip to Parma, Italy!

Gotta Eat ‘Em All: Pikachu Cafe

My earliest encounter with Japanese culture was through Pokémon. I watched the dubbed anime on cable television, collected the cards, and I saved my pocket money for a whole year to buy a Gameboy Colour console and Pokémon Blue cartridge. I also had Pokémon posters and plushies in my bedroom, and I printed a t-shirt with pictures of my favourite water Pokémon (especially Blastoise!). I didn’t really keep up after the first 151 Pokémon, but years later I was still so excited to visit a Pokémon-themed cafe!

Pikachu cafeAs you can see, there are Pikachu everywhere! Even the food looks like Pikachu!

Pikachu curryI ordered カレーライス (curry rice) because I love the subtle flavour of Japanese curry. When Japanese people ask me what Japanese food I like, they always respond that カレーライス isn’t Japanese! But curry doesn’t taste this good anywhere else I’ve traveled. The yellow rice came in the shape of Pikachu’s head, with browned tortilla chips for ears, sliced pickles for his big shiny eyes and rosy cheeks, and a seaweed smile. He sat in a curry sauce with meat, broccoli, and carrot and omelet cut into stars.

Pikachu burgerAlberto had the ハンバーガー (hamburger), which also came with browned tortilla chip ears and pickled rosy cheeks, though his face was burnt onto the bread bun! I wonder if it was made with real Pikachu meat? Are Pikachu becoming an endangered species because of this cafe?

Pikachu dessertFor dessert, we all had Pikachu blancmange, with whipped cream and sprinkles. Here you can see that the tabletops are also Pikachu-themed, and the floor is a blanket of fake grass to give a sense of adventure in the Pokéwilderness!

Pokemon moviesThe cafe was part of an exhibition at the Mori Art Museum in Roppongi, to celebrate and promote the new Pokémon XY movie. I saw official concept art, animation techniques, a short film, and even ran around a dark room pressing Pokéball-shaped buttons to reveal different Pokémon. I didn’t catch a Blastoise, though. ): In another room, all 16 Pokémon movies were playing at the same time. It was so decadent!

As a bonus, here is a Pokémon-themed suitcase which appeared in my hostel in Nara. Unfortunately I never got to meet its owner, but I did admire her collection of regional Pokémon stickers! I have a lot more to write about my own adventures all over Japan, so please follow me if you are interested in reading them. ^o^

Suitcase at NaraWhich is your favourite Pokémon? Could you bear to eat their face!?

Fenwick’s: Window Wonderland

Oh ho ho, I do love tenuous wordplay.

Today was the first day of the Christmas holiday, so I took the opportunity to visit Fenwick’s Window. Fenwick is an upmarket department store, and the Newcastle-upon-Tyne branch is famous for its window dressing in the Christmas period, when they stop showcasing their products, in favour of entertaining and delighting Christmas shoppers. They do this through installations illustrating stories, with lighting, music and even animatronics. This year the the story was one of my favourites: Alice in Wonderland! So of course I had to dress up in an Alice-inspired lolita cord, for the occasion.

DSC_0819 - CopyI was going to wear the sax op with black and white striped tights, for a more typical interpretation of Alice, but when I realised how cold it was outside, I opted for card suite-themed otks to keep my legs warm, and balance the red of my coat. Maybe I look a little like Red Riding Hood, too?

DSC_0823 - CopyBeret from Swimmer
Coat from Metamorphose
Boots from H+M
Everything else from BtSSB

DSC_0806 - CopyI was also going to take my Usakumya, Reginald, to play the part of the White Rabbit, but he isn’t big enough to carry my camera equipment, so I took an ugly rucksack instead. Even so, lots of people stopped to compliment my clothing, and ask if I was part of the display!

And here are my photographs of the display. You can click any image to enlarge it. Unfortunately I caught a lot of reflections, because I don’t have a polarising filter to fit my DSLR lenses, but that does mean you get to see my reflection, as I squint through the viewfinder!

The Mad Teaparty scene, with the doormouse popping his head in and out of the teapot, and two spinning tables topped with cakes, made me quite hungry! The food in England is delicious, but not very cute; sometimes I wish I was still in Japan! But I did find this cute gingerbread cream latte, complete with a gingerbread man and tiny gold stars. It reminded me of another fairytale. Run, run, as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!

Gingerbread latte

I hope you enjoyed my outfit, photographs, and the new direction I am taking with my blog. Do you have any Christmas traditions, or cafes selling cute snacks, in your town?

Halloween 2014

Halloween is my favourite day of the year, so here is a festive post full of poor-quality seasonal pet photographs! I carved a pumpkin into a head/house for my pet rats, and tried to take photographs as they explored it. At the time they were afraid of the sound of the shutter, and more interested in hiding under the black towels I laid down as a backdrop. When I finally put them back in their cage with the pumpkin, they began to shred their other toys and hide the debris in it, like a strange sacrifice.

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The indignant pumpkin head/house

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Pumpkin approaches the pumpkin…

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Mousse looks through the window…

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Pumpkin approaches the door…

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Mousse stole the pumpkin’s hat/lid

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It wasn’t a good day for the pumpkin.

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My boyfriend also got a practical present for Samhain; a microwave, in black to match his clothes.

Do you have pets? And if so, do you do anything special to celebrate Halloween with them?

After a Two Year Absence

It has been two years since my last blog entry, and a lot has changed.

The most recent update is that, after a period of illness and some epic adventures, I decided not to complete my degree in fine art, and to instead pursue a dance course, with a view to become a contemporary circus performer. Of course, since this blog was initially my digital sketchbook for said fine art degree, this means that UglyDucklyng will be undergoing some changes.

Ball joint tights and Ballet shoes

My first ballet shoes (and ball joint tights)

Firstly, I will be deleting several entries showcasing pieces of my own artwork, with which I am not longer satisfied. Secondly, I will be reinstating the entries pertaining to topics (Erotic Grotesque Nonsense, and anime references to Gustav Klimt) which I considered for my dissertation, as it is now complete. And thirdly, I will be retrospectively writing blog entries from the past two years.

You can look forward to reading about my adventures in Germany and Japan, Lolita and Ouji fashion, my life and the lives of my pet rats (Pumpkin and Mousse), and of course, art, fine and otherwise. I have visited a number of exciting exhibitions across the globe, met some inspirational artists (including Gregor Schneider), and I am still slowly making art myself, with a different approach.

My pet rats (Pumpkin on top of Mousse)

My pet rats (Pumpkin on top of Mousse)

Or, if you feel this blog is no longer relevant to your interests, you can leave, with no hard feelings. Thank you for reading.

Semblance and Synergy

Although I consider myself a conceptual artist, I still feel the need to prove my ability as a traditional artist. I actually enjoy drawing as an indulgent activity, but find it less interesting to view. I think the best art contains both craftmanship and cognitive processes. Drawing is frequently used in preparation for traditional media, particularly painting and printmaking, as well as being a discipline of itself. Drawing is the making of marks on a 2 dimensional surface, and in figurative work, tries to create the illusion of a 3 dimensional subject. I have realised retrospectively, that objects resembling other objects are a staple in my practice. Yet there are many more possibilities than traditional media (for example pencil on paper) that resembles another object (for example in a portrait).

We All Fall Down, coloured chalk pastel, crepe bandages, white chalk, blackboard paint, on 4×5 ft board.

In We All Fall Down I used chalk pastels to create an illusion interpretable as the black eyes of a Panda or Periorbital Haematoma. The drawing combines two seperate yet visually-similar subjects, adding interest and making for multiple interpretations. It was part of my Final Major Project for my BTEC Foundation Diploma in Art.

Subconjunctival Haemorrhage, digital print from 35mm colour negative, dimensions variable.

My obsession with eyes continued into the first year of University, when I compared ocular and camera lenses, using photography for the tautological elements. Unlike drawing, photography requires a referrent, which can be manipulated to appear as another. The lack of focus makes the subject obscure and open to interpretation, while also relating to the eye injury. Instead of using tone to create an illusion of shadow, as in drawing, I used the shadows under my hands to create an illusion of tone, or of blood.

MarshmalloWool, readymades in an installation.

My medical theme climaxed in second year, when I installed a toy hospital in an actual medical centre, and made video performances within it. MarshmalloWool is a comparison between cotton wool and marshmallows, because they are so similar in colour, size and shape. The actual objects were more appropriate than a 2 dimensional representation, because the contrasting texture, and the interactive opportunity to take an object from either jar, were central to the concept.

Claire Lavender my housemate/studio partner/fellow blogger has suggested that “when recognisable objects are being used, it is worth the artist considering their conceptual value.” This is true but unfair, as draftsmen and other traditional artists are seldom expected to justify their medium.

I am fascinated by the play between semblance and synergy, and the ability to polarise similarities and differences, questioning our perception of the world. Over the first Semester of my third year, I want to continue making comparisons, become a better draftsman, and master the print facilities at University. My other inspirations will be semantics, as I study two foreign languages and prepare to study abroad; and gender identity, as I (hopefully) undergo upper surgery.

Erotic Grotesque Nonsense: Pre-Taisho

Erotic Grotesque Nonsense (herein shortened to Ero Guro) was a cultural movement which climaxed in 1920s and 1930s Japan, though it was revived in 1960s cinema, and in contemporary art and manga. Eroticism and Grotesque-ry are its key themes, though below the surface its Nonsensical-ity is debatable. This entry examines these themes in fine art before the Taisho period, as a premonition to the movement. Subsequent entries will cover the different revivals, as well as the implications of the digital age, and the potential paradox of photography.

Ukiyo-e (pictures of the floating world) depicted the transient beauty of the landscape, historical tales, kabuki and courtesans. Mediums included painting and the more reproducible woodblock prints, which brought art as entertainment to the masses. Focusing on the grotesque, violent prints allowed viewers to learned about their Feudal history. Focusing on the erotic, Shunga (Spring as a euphemism for sex) prints were very popular, and produced by even the most famous artists, without damage to their reputation. Even Hokusai, whose Great Wave off Kanegawa is now the most iconic image of Japanese art, produced Shunga, as seen below.

Ama to Tako (Diver and Octopus) by Katsushika Hokusai

Foreshadowing infamous tentacle porn, Hokusai’s Ama to Tako essentially depicts a threesome between a diver, an octopus and his son. The bestiality, incest and paedophilia are bewildering to contemporary Western audiences, but this scene was revisited by countless Japanese artists, and later Picasso (if you can find his version, I would love to see it). One explanation for this is that Japanese morality centres on harmony with others and with nature, rather than answering to the rules and punishments of a fire-and-brimstone God. In the text transcribing their exchange, the Father mentions the Dragon Palace of the Sea God, tenuously linking the narrative to the Japanese myth of Princess Tamatori, although it has a very different ending. This is comparable to the plots of contemporary pornography, which viewers will suspend their disbelief over, for the promise of sex.

Botan Dōrō (Peony Lantern) by Utagawa Toyokuni

Besides animals, Youkai are popular partners in ero guro art. Youkai is a catch-all term for supernatural beings, and includes; monsters, shapeshifting animals or humans, sentient objects, or disembodied spirits. Yuurei are spirits unable to rest because of emotional connections to or unfinished business on earth (much like in Western mythology). In the story of Boton Dōrō, depicted above, Yuurei can seduce the living and take them to the world of the dead. Necrophilia and decay are common themes in Ero Guro.

From Muzan-e (Cruel Pictures) by Tsukioka Yoshitoshi

Just after the Edo period, Yoshitoshi illustrated twenty eight famous murder and torture scenes, from history and the theatre. Contrary to popular misconception, guro is not the Japanese pronunciation of gore (which would be gooru), though gore is a popular theme, and the print above eroticises it with unnecessary nudity. Shibari (rope bondage) has also become fetished, though it was originally developed due to lack of solid resources such as wood and metal, with which to restrain prisoners of war.

Sensational murders have always captured the morbid curiosity of the public. People still puzzle over the identity of Jack the Ripper, in England. In Japan, the Sada Abe incident, occurring during the climax of the movement, immediately inspired literature and later cinema. After engaging in consensual erotic asphyxiation, Abe used her obi to strangle her lover Kichizo Ishida, as he slept. She then cut off his penis and graffiti-ed his body with the blood, writing ‘Sada Kichi futari kiri’ (Sada Kichi together) on his bed sheet and thigh, and carving her name onto his arm. In the three days until the police found her, she kept the disembodied penis and attempted to have sex with it.

The Battle of Sannō Shrine by Tsukioka Yoshitoshi

The end of Edo and beginning of the Meiji era was a time of great political unrest. Yoshitoshi also illustrated various battles, to present them to a wider audience. They are of less artistic and more historic importance, in my opinion.

Shunga attributed to Utagawa Kuniyoshi

There is a correlation between Ero Guro and and Modernisation, due to questioning of national identity and uncertainty about the future. This final print is generally attributed to Kuniyoshi, and depicts three English women sexually assaulting a Japanese man, perhaps as a metaphor for Westernisation. The flag in the upper right corner denotes their nationality. World War I and now the Internet have resurrected interest in Ero Guro, and I will be writing more on the subject later, and possibly in my dissertation.

Early ero guro themes: Tentacles, Bestiality, Monsters, Undead, Decay, Skeletons, Necrophilia, Murder, Torture, Shibari, Bondage.

Gilt

Oil paint and Metal leaf on Canvas, 49″ x 35″

Gilt was my final piece for the 1st semester of my 2nd year. The title is a play on the physical properties of the Gilded surface and Guilt as the emotion motivating the painting. The palette was a combination of Gustav Klimt’s gold period and my memory of embalmed skin. I waited a week to say goodbye because they were embalming Her, a pointless practice in this case. She reminded me of a doll, not because She lay still, but because Her skin was so hard and yellow, like resin exposed to sunlight. The shapes were based on ball joints, as a symbol of death, and the gold symbolised vanity.

In the 2nd semester, my work became about the failure of medicine. At the start of Summer, this painting was put up in the Moon Gallery, under the title The Meaning of Life. I don’t believe there is any meaning to life, beyond what we make of it, and would describe myself as an existential nihilist, but also an optimist. I find death fascinating, and will be researching different attitudes that interest me, including Ero Guro, Vanitas and Viennese Actionism.

Problems with Self Portraiture

The photo-realist uses the camera and photograph to gather information

and this information must be gathered from somewhere, or someone. That someone will be myself. I have been referring to my present project as a self portraiture one for convenience, but that is deceptively simple. It is not about my own Self so much as the human condition, nor is it a Portrait so much as a concept. Now that I have explained my idea further, it is time to implement a working title that mentions the point of the project; Auto Erasure.

Still from Always music video, by synthpop duo Erasure.

I am so desperate for an illustration that I have resorted to such puns.

Beyond the etymology, there are still several problems with the reference for Auto Erasure:

  1. Composition without a viewfinder
  2. Simulation of the paper’s surface
  3. Capturing the action of erasure

To resolve problems 1. and 2. I will be using a window. I will point my lens straight at the window, align the edges of the frame to those of the window, and perform the act of erasure upon the window. To overcome potential glare, I will use a polarising filter. To resolve problem 3. I will shoot continuously at 3 FPS to capture the full range of motion involved in erasing.

Headshots from Decoration by Tomoko Sawada

The face is the most recognisable and interesting part of the human body, so while its erasure in central to the concept, the drawing risks becoming clinical. To relate it to previous work, disguise myself, and add other textures and points of interest, I will be wearing a wig and lolita accessories, like in Sawada Tomoko’s Decoration series. Her headgear includes miniature crowns, sailor tub and top hats, head-eating bonnets and bows, rectangle headdresses, red riding hoods, rabbit ears and synthetic slices of cake. Since I first lost touch with the subculture, kotekote (over the top) ama (sweet) lolita has become fashionable, and begun to fall from fashion again, though its influence on unnatural wigs and oversized and/or overnumerous  hair accessories is still evident. I have quite a collection of my own to choose from, focusing on contrasting shades and textures, that would remain interesting in a monochromatic pencil drawing. I will be posting photographs in the near future.

An old photo of me in lolita boystyle because this entry is hard to illustrate

Anna Gaskell

Because today (yesterday now) was a Bank Holiday, I had little to do besides visiting the Laing for research. I was interested in their 18th and 19th Century painting gallery, not for the paintings themselves, but as a performance site incorporating them. The Laing is quite traditional, but always includes some important contemporary pieces in their temporary exhibitions, providing a postmodern juxtaposition to the historical overview. However, upon arrival I was distracted by the Family Matters exhibition, and because I am the Puer Aeternus, the Childhood section. There, my interest was captured by a single photograph, by Anna Gaskell.

Untitled #35 from Hide (the same series) by Anna Gaskell

Gaskell stages whimsical yet unnerving photo series, loosely inspired by fiction, and exclusively employing young female models. According to the Guggenheim, which owns the same print, her Hide series “derives from a Brothers Grimm tale of a young woman who disguises herself under an animal pelt so that she might escape her own father’s proposal of marriage.” Of course, I have the complete Grimm fairytales, and have identified this story as Allerleirauh, which translates as “all the furs”. It describes her coat, made using the pelt of one of each animal species in the Kingdom. Gaskell’s title is doubly appropriate in referring to the animal hides and the Princess’s disguise. (The Guggenheim have neglected to mention more than one pelt, and the fact that she is royalty).

Untitled #47 from Hide by Anna Gaskell

Untitled #47 appears to have been influenced more by archetypes than by Allerleirauh. The models both wear white gowns, obviously symbolising innocence, even though the Princess’s lavish dresses, fur coat, and sooty hands and face are central to the plot. The heroine has a doppelganger, a recurring theme in Gaskell’s tableaux, and one sits atop they other. It is unclear whether she is trying to help, play, seduce or fight. The voyeuristically high point of view might suggest the other was pushed by a third party. I particularly like Gaskell’s ambiguity, in narrative and obscure composition.

Untitled #36 from Hide (the same series) by Anna Gaskell

When I move to Munich to study art in April, I plan to research German fairytales and to make work about their corruption. Besides this parallel, I found Hide so enchanting because it was so subtly inappropriate. In an exhibition titled Family Matters: the Family in British Art, my favourite artwork was by an American artist, inspired by a German fairytale, about forced marriage, incest and paedophilia.

Family Matters exhibition at the Laing gallery